The Crush Rush

Ever just take a step back and look at your life. As it is right now. View yourself in 3rd person? The good, bad and fucked up? Try and see your life through a different perspective? Remove your inner thoughts and motivations and just look at the actions. Notice a pattern?

I do this often. What I like to dissect are the inner workings of my life. Take career, social or fashion sense. What do other's see in me? What can I learn from it? Is it how I want to be perceived? Are there area's of notification I had not noticed in myself?

It doesn't take much to just slip into this thought processes for me anymore because I do it all the time. I just had an unusual revelation: when it comes to relations with the opposite sex, it's all about the newest challenge.

I set my sights on the most challenging (or what I deem the most challenging at the time). The challenge is to reverse the situation. I see, I want, I get, I move on. It's all about the challenge now. I'm a challenge junkie. There is a sort of rush to it all.

So, what happens when someone worth keeping around, comes around? Has he already came and gone? Will I know he's a keeper? Will the challenge be reciprocated? Will it be reversed, meaning will I have to challenge myself to stay?

Only time will tell, I'm told.